I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize