we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
