Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
