i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
