things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
