The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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