Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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