FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
farters have to be the big spoon...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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