Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
