Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
