i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize