Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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