Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
