She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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