You really coming over, don't trick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
nutella sex= disaster
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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