btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
