Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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