I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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