what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
