But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize