so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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