Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
