You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
