I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
