Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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