so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
