i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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