So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
