bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
