if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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