Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
