So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
