HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
