allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
