i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
