Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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