You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
