oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
