There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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