She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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