??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
