wakey wakey hands off snakey
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
