I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
