i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
