Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize