maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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