are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
