I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
