I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize