Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
