You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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