Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
