Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
