I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
