he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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