So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
