I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
