Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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