It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
